Illustration by Claire Robertson

My Name is Oskar Tex Hosken and I'm four years old. Daddy built my website for me and Mummy helps me write my journal. I have a little sister, Jasmine, who also has a website.

Read my guestbook

oskar at neuronwave dot com

Tuesday, May 25, 2004
Hmm, maybe I didn't need to tell everyone about my violin poos...oh well!

We have a new rule: I have to stay in bed until 6 in the morning. I used to get up and potter around before then, but Mum and Dad have got a bit more serious over the last week, so I've decided I'd better at least try. When I wake up I go and have a pee, then I look at the time on the oven. If it's 5-something then I go back to bed and wait there for a while before checking the time again. I stay very quiet incase Jasmine wakes up and cries. I like some playtime with Daddy before Jasmine gets up - and definitely before Mum wakes up. She's not as grumpy in the mornings as she used to be, but she's still a bit snappy. This morning Daddy wouldn't get up, so I sat in Mum's lap and cried, 'I want Daddy,' but I had to make do with Mum.

I like being with Daddy in the mornings. I play with my toys for a bit while he looks at his computer. Then I sit on the kitchen bench and help Daddy grind the coffee beans. I dip my hand in the jar, pull out the beans and put them in the grinder. Then I press the button to make the really loud sound, and shake the grinder so all the beans go through the hole. Then I tap the container so the ground coffee all settles at the bottom. I showed Mum what to do this morning and explained it to her as I did it. She was pretty impressed.

The other new rule is no TV until 5pm. I'm not so happy about this. Each day I say, 'Mum, arfa it turns five I might watch some TB...Mum, is it five yet?' Usually it isn't, so I cry, 'I not wanna watch TB!' and jump up and down a bit. Instead I entertain myself by setting up the couch cushions to make ramps that I slide down like Wallace in Wallace and Gromit. I press a button and yell, 'GEROMINO!!' and slide down the cushion to go and clean windows. After 5 I like to watch Wallace & Gromit's A close Shave or Monsters Inc. - they're my favourites at the moment.

'Mum, it's five...wanna watch some TB now?'

Monday, May 24, 2004
I've been learning about the sounds musical instruments make at Mini Maestros. I know that a double bass makes a low sound, a cello makes a middle sound, and a violin makes a high sound. We often drive past a shop that has instruments in the windows and I tell Mum which is which and what sounds they make.

But that all got a bit dull so I've decided to get creative about what else could be like violins, cellos and double basses. Each time I have a poo now I tell Mum, 'Mum, I just did a violin poo,' that's a small poo. A middle sized poo is a cello poo, and a really big poo is a double bass poo. But I don't do many of those. I think the adults do double bass poos. Today I did a violin poo AND a cello poo.

Wednesday, May 19, 2004
'Jaz, scooze me ... not wake me up, Sweetheart.'

Sunday, May 16, 2004
Mum and Dad went away on a holiday without me. Mum, Dad AND Jasmine...went away without me. I was so mad with them; I still am a bit, but not as much as I was. On the upside I got to stay with Nan for two nights and we had a really great time. I was able to show Nan my kinder and she came along to Mini Maestros with me. Plus we went to Ripponlea - that was such fun. What wasn't so good was that Grandad was in hospital because he was a bit sick. We went to visit him there. Get well soon, Grandad!

Even though I had a good time I still had to let Mum and Dad know that I wasn't happy about being left behind. So I've been disagreeing with everything they say, yelling, 'NOOOOOOO!' a lot, hitting Mum (albeit softly - I'm not game enough to hit her hard), pushing Jasmine over, and jumping up and down on the spot while doing a really great sook that always annoys them. I've also been demanding my favourite videos on TV and then throwing a major tantrum if they won't let me. So all up, I have to admit to having had a pretty lousy few days since getting home. But at least I made Mum and Dad suffer.

There have been a couple of highlights, though. Today Dad made me a moving clown's head to put balls into. He made it out of cardboard cylinders, toilet rolls and a shoe box, and it swivels really neatly so the balls fall into different slots. I spent ages playing with it this morning. Then this afternoon he made me a set of bagpipes out of a balloon and more toilet rolls. I combined the two and sat on the floor playing the trombone. My Dad's very clever.

Friday, May 14, 2004
I was in the car with Mummy this afternoon when I heard her say, 'thank you' and wave out the window. I asked, 'Mum, why you say, "fank you"?' She said that the man had let her go in front of him on the road. I replied, 'Mum, you might say, "fuckens" if that man squashes you in.' She said that she wouldn't, but I'm not so sure about that!

'Muuuum! Jazzie just said, "Wizzem"!'

Monday, May 10, 2004
I like to press the buzzer to make the garage door open; sometimes it opens and sometimes it doesn't. A few days ago I pressed the buzzer but nothing happened, so I said the password that Mum sometimes says to make it open: 'Come on bloody open door'. It still didn't open so I had to hand it over to Mum, who for some reason was in hysterics, and she got it to open. I'm not sure what I did wrong.

I'm realising that I have to be really clear with Mum and Dad. They just don't get subtle hints, so I have to be really blunt. Like when I said to Daddy, 'Daddy, I might have some milk in my Tupperware cup, an' then I might have some white wine'. I got the milk but I didn't get the white wine. Maybe it was because I forgot to say please.

I'm still having to translate for Jasmine so Mum and Dad can understand her. We were in the car the other day when Jasmine was tugging away at her slippers. I yelled out, 'Mum, Jazzie said, "I might take off my socks an' shoes an' drop dem"'. She did just that so I got it right!

I've been storing up a good line for a while and let it out a few days ago. I think I learnt it from Grampa. I announced, 'Mum, i might burp an' I might say, "budder me!"' He he he. It got a good reaction!

Tuesday, May 04, 2004
'Mum, I might turn into a blue fish.'

'Mum, you might see me in pool, swimming.'

Monday, May 03, 2004
This morning was horrible. Usually Daddy gets up with me at 5 or 5.30am and gets me a drink and some playthings. Sometimes he stays up and other times he goes back to bed till 6am, then gets up again. But this morning he went back to bed and didn't get up again. Mummy got up instead. I don't like Mummy in the mornings.

She grumped at me right from the start and every second word was, 'be quiet!' whispered at me in a fierce voice. She was soooo grumpy. I couldn't do anything right. I played too noisily, I talked too noisily, I even played computer games too noisily. Then I did something to the computer that made everything huge and it wouldn't work properly. I was trying to stay happy, but she wore me down and I eventually started feeling miserable and sad. I cried a bit. I was happy when she left with Jasmine to go to Gymbaroo and I was left alone with Daddy. I went back to bed for my nap at 10am feeling very down.

When I woke up I just lay in bed thinking for a while. Then Mummy came home and into my bedroom for a cuddle. I sat in her lap and murmured, 'Mum, you're grumpy in morning...I get scared you're angry.' She hugged me and looked a bit sad. We talked about why she gets so grumpy and she said sorry. I felt a bit happier about that and had a good afternoon. Then tonight she said she'd promise not to be grumpy in the morning if I promised to stay in bed until 6am. I wouldn't commit to that - I thought that was a bit much ground to concede!

Saturday, May 01, 2004
I've been building some really great creations with my gears in the last week. I built some bagpipes, a boat, a saxophone and a lawn mower, but Jasmine always comes along and tries to break them. I yell at her, 'Jazzie not break it!!!' which is usually followed by Mum or Dad telling me not to yell at her. It's so obvious what she's trying to do, but Mum and Dad can't see it. Plus, they can't understand what she's saying...but I can, so I translate. 'Mum, Jazzie said, "I might break this".' Then I yell, 'Not broke it!!' When I found my boat broken I told Mum, 'Mum, Jazzie said, "I broke it"'. Mum just laughed at me so I picked up the remains and put them on the table: 'I put it up here, Jazzie can't get it'. Jasmine clearly has Mum and Dad on her side.

On Thursday I went to Gymbaroo with Mum and Jasmine. I've been wanting to go for ages and finally I got to go when they had to do a make-up class. When we went in I was galloping about with glee, so happy to be there. I saw Sharon, the same lady who was assistant when I did Gymbaroo as a baby. Mum introduced us again and I announced, 'When I'm a bit older, when I grow up, I might do a poo without a nappy on! And I might get chocolate!' Then I bounded off into the gym.

Mum kept telling me I had to play with her and Jasmine and not go off on my own, but I just scoffed at that - as if! The teacher came over and told me that I should sit down and play with some boring toys while the babies all climbed over the fun equipment. I wasn't going to do that, so I took of and started climbing. Mum kept carrying on as if I was going to break the equipment and insisted that I get off the ladder, the beam, the trampoline and maybe even the floor. I was very disappointed, but I also worked out that Mum had to stay with Jasmine, so she really couldn't come after me. He he. But that was when the teacher came over again and ruined my fun. So I lay on the floor and cried.

Eventually I found some toys that I was happy to play with, so I sat still for about three minutes. That was long enough, then I was off again. I got to dance with Mummy while the teacher danced with Jasmine - that was fun at least. Finally we left and went straight to playgroup where I happily immersed myself in making a 'Virgil comes down' out of the dolls house - and no one told me off.

Friday was the best day I've had in ages because I got to see Nan and Grandad again! They were away for six weeks and I really missed them. We went over for dinner and I was just so happy to be there. Plus I got presents: a cool little Vespa, a bright red Ferrari, and the best raincoat I've ever seen. Lots of cuddles and play with Uncle Ad made it a really good night.


Taking in the view with Dad at Sandringham beach

A sort of preview birthday cake...(I turn 5 tomorrow!!!)

We're Dixie and Pumpy

Looooove the Kew Traffic School

We got you, Uncle Ad, now give up!

Are we too cool, or what?!

Watching the ducks on a breezy day...but nothing stops me from wearing my muscle shirt.

I'm not dizzy, no, no...

Whoaah!! Grampa made this for me!

Night-night, Mummy!

January 2001
February 2001
March 2001
April 2001
May 2001
June 2001
July 2001
August 2001
September 2001
October 2001
November 2001
December 2001
January 2002
February 2002
March 2002
April 2002
May 2002
June 2002
July 2002
August 2002
September 2002
October 2002
November 2002
December 2002
January 2003
February 2003
March 2003
April 2003
May 2003
June 2003
July 2003
August 2003
September 2003
October 2003
November 2003
December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
Creative Commons License