Illustration by Claire Robertson

My Name is Oskar Tex Hosken and I'm four years old. Daddy built my website for me and Mummy helps me write my journal. I have a little sister, Jasmine, who also has a website.

Read my guestbook

oskar at neuronwave dot com


 
Tuesday, March 26, 2002
I've worked out what makes Mummy really happy. I get her to pick me up, then stroke her hair and say "hair". It actually comes out sounding more like "air" but she knows what I mean. I get a big smile and hug for this. I can also do eye, nose, and ear, although I can't say "nose" very well. I accidentally poked Daddy a bit hard in the eye yesterday. Well they do stick out a bit.

A couple of days ago I got to eat some chocolate mousse. I also had half a piece of toblerone - yum yum. Daddy slipped them to me when Mummy wasn't watching but then she appeared and we both tried to pretend that we weren't eating anything, and that it wasn't chocolate on my face. Didn't work. She was not impressed with Daddy. But at least I finally got to try some chocolate, which is better than watching Mummy devour a bar all to herself. I now know that I have to hang out with Daddy more often when Mummy is out of the kitchen. He lets me try heaps more foods than she does. I got to drink campari and grapefruit juice last week. Very yummy. I didn't think much of soda water, but I liked champagne.

We had a picnic in Aunty Jo's backyard on Sunday night. M & D tried to get me to eat a pasta salad while they ate fish and chips. Hmmph! Needless to say, I saw to it that the ants ate my dinner and I had fish and chips. I would have liked some of their chardonnay to wash it down with, but that might have been pushing my luck.


Sunday, March 24, 2002
I've had a great weekend. Saturday morning I woke up at 7am and felt great, having slept right through the night. After a quick brekky we headed off to Brunetti's to meet Nan, Grandad and Uncle Adam, for Nan's birthday. I was hoping for my usual hot cross bun but Uncle Adam handed me only half of one. I thought he was going to eat the other half so I crammed my piece in my mouth so I could pinch the second bit before he ate it. The only problem with half a bun in your mouth is that it's impossible to swallow. Mummy noticed I was having some troubles so she let me spit it out on to her hand which meant I could put the smaller bits back in again. All up I think I ate the entire bun in about 4 minutes. That left plenty of time to try to weasel some pastries from the rest of the family, since they were all still eating. Nan offered me some of hers but Mummy wouldn't let her give it to me. What a spoilsport. I kicked up a bit of a fuss so they let me out of my pram and I went walking with Nan.

After Brunetti's, M & D took me to the best park, in Rathdowne Street. I had great fun romping around it, going up and down the wavey ground, through holes, playing in the rocks, and going up and down the slide. I fell asleep about 3 minutes after we got in the car.

This morning Mummy and I went for a ride while Daddy went for a run. I'm still getting the hang of sitting on the back of the bike and having to wear a helmet. Daddy fiddled with my helmet for ages before we left which was really irritating, but at least it was more comfortable afterwards. The shoulder straps need some work though because they still slide down over my arms. But it was good fun, riding along in the sun along the river. We stopped at two playgrounds which was great, but I started to get really tired. On the way back I slipped down the seat and Mummy's legs kept bumping into my feet. That was a bit annoying so I kicked her to make her stop, but she peddalled faster instead. That was a surprise, but I'll remember that for next time she's going too slowly. Come to think of it, that's most of the time. Daddy even threatened to overtake us when we were slugging our way up the final hill home. Very embarrassing.

I think I have another tooth about to poke through. All this aching is making me very grouchy and tired. So I really think M & D should realise that I'm really sore and that if I want something, I'd feel better if I got it straight away. Last night, while my bath was running, I asked Mummy to pass me my toothbrush. She didn't even turn around straight away let alone give me the brush so I stomped my feet and screamed and gave her the angriest look I could muster up. Those efforts landed me in bed for "time-out". I was already annoyed with her for taking away the tupperware I'd been playing with earlier in the evening, so that just made me even more furious. It took me ages to calm down and I only felt better after a good bit of running around naked.


Friday, March 22, 2002
I've got some new shoes. Very nice they are too. I went shopping with Mummy and Nan two days ago to find some. I looked at heaps of shoes and I tried on three different pairs of boots. The ones that looked the best were the French ones, but gee they were uncomfortable. They had big lumps stuck on the sole. The most comfortable were the Clarks which didn't look quite as swanky, but they're still really cool. So we went to the park afterwards and I parktested my new boots. They performed really well. I walked up and down steep slopes and then subjected them to the "dirty rocks test". Super comfy and they came clean with a wipe of the hand (Mummy's hand). I felt much more stable than in my sandals so I'm very pleased with them.

This morning I went out to get the paper for M & D in my new boots. They felt so good I wanted to keep on walking, so I held the paper in one hand and the keys in the other and set off up the street. I said g'day to the guys working in the glass factory and kept on going. I got half way up the street before Mummy tried to turn me back and took the keys from me. Boy I was not impressed. I chucked a wobbly in the street and got the sympathies of the workers who thought Mummy was a really mean Mummy. That made me feel better so I settled at the letterboxes for a while and tried all the keys in all the locks. Once I'd got bored of that, then I headed back home.

I got called the "DQ" word again today. M & D think I'm a Drama Queen. I call it being assertive. I just want what I want and I want it NOW. Easy, I don't know why they have such trouble with it. If I don't get what I want then I complain. Loud and long and preferably on my back on the floor for greater emphasis. Ooh, but I crossed the line a bit today. I had pasta for dinner, well a bit of it before I started playing with it. I smeared it around and then upended the entire plate. But instead of it landing on my "splash mat", it went onto the carpet, the dining chair and Daddy's woolly jumper. Boy were they not impressed. I got pulled out of my chair and dumped in my bed with the door closed for about 5 minutes. I yelled the whole time but it didn't seem to do any good. Eventually they let me out and I thought I'd better not push my luck after that. I left it a whole 3 minutes before throwing my next wobbly.

I've just discovered what happens if you are walking with a papadam and you fall on it. It breaks into lots of little pieces. Oh well. Easier to eat that way.


Thursday, March 21, 2002
Gee I had fun yesterday. More parent free time! M & D went out at lunchtime so Uncle Adam came to play with me. We had a wow of a time. Stories, lego, crawling on Uncle Adam, headbutting Uncle Adam, stomping on Uncle Adam...he's so nice, he doesn't complain what I do. And he's still very cuddly.

Last night I had my first full meal in about 5 days. My mouth has been so sore that I lost my apetite. It hurt too much to chew. The pain wasn't as bad last night and when combined with the most obvious contributing factor, hunger, I happily ate. But dinner was particularly yummy for a change. I had a big piece of blue grenadier fish with steamed rice and a mix of vegies cooked in tamari. I know exactly what went in becuase I clung to Mummy's leg while she was cooking it. I fed myself most of it because I think I'm getting a bit old to have M & D spoonfeeding me. The rice is a bit tricky though. I pick up a handful but only a few grains actually make it to my mouth. But I don't mind. I just pick the rice off my bib and try again. It's just that it's a bit slow, and I'm still getting the hang of using a spoon so that's not reliable. I'm not won over by broccoli though, so I picked out all the corn from around the green bits. All up, it was a reasonably clean plate by the time I was done. Then I had grapes and banana cake for desert. Very yummy.

I was hoping I'd sleep better since I had a full tummy but I still woke at 6am, which I have done for the last few weeks. I'd love to get up then, but M & D are so resistant to the idea. I have to yell for about 10 minutes before one of them comes to change my nappy. But they put me back to bed even though I'm starving by then. So I keep yelling in the hope that they'll get the message. This morning I was really insistant so they took me into their bed. Well there wasn't any food in their bed so I still wasn't happy. I kicked and squirmed and pushed and headbutted, but I still had to wait until 7am before they got up. By then I was so hungry I would have eaten anything.


Monday, March 18, 2002
I'm feeling lousy today. I'm really, really hot and have woken from my last few naps feeling like I've slept in an oven. My mouth is aching and my nose is all goopy. Not much fun.

Yesterday was a huge day so I'm going to take it easy today. I'm not even going to gymbaroo. Nan and Grandad picked me up yesterday morning and we went to Brunetti's again. This time I got a whole hot cross bun to myself which was a good thing because I was planning to complain if I got a third of one again. Then we went for a walk around Albert Park Lake and I saw lots of fat, happy ducks and swans. They all crowded around me and looked expectant. I've no idea what they were after, I just stared back at them. I checked out the play equipment and then realised that I was exhausted. I slept for so long after I got home.

Then in the afternoon we went to Cindie, Andrew and Harry's place. Harry was a complete nuisance. He kept wanting to HUG me! He cornered me in the diningroom and hugged me and when I escaped he chased me down and hugged me again. Very strange. Then he kept trying to put his hat on my head. I was minding my own business playing with his toys and he kept draping this hat on me. After about the 5th time I started to grizzle to get the adults' attention then noticed that Mummy had been watching the whole time and was taking photos. Thanks for the help! I was so tired though. Luckily I didn't have to stay up till Harry's bedtime (8pm). I fell asleep in the portacot with Bobo long before that.


Saturday, March 16, 2002
Oh oh oh, what a drama. Today Mummy did a less than spectacular nappy change for me. In fact it was a complete shermozzle. Before this particular change, we were having lunch with Aunty Jo and Bronwyn at Jo's place. I had had a lovely time pottering around rearranging the candles and stones, checking out the incense and picking flowers. Very relaxing. Just before we were due to leave, Mummy came over to do a quick nappy change. No change mat, no bottom wipes, just the nappy. I could have told her that right then wasn't a good plan if she'd asked but she didn't. Off came the nappy while I was standing in the loungeroom, and straight thereafter arrived a little pile of poo on the carpet. We both stared at it. I made a quick decision to vacate the scene. Unfortunately there was more on the way and three more piles followed me around the room. By this stage Mummy had started shrieking and Aunty Jo and Bronwyn had appeared to see what the fuss was about. I tried to make a run for it but Aunty Jo caught me. So I relented and sat down but that was met with more shrieks from all of them. Oh boy! I went to help Mummy clean up by picking up a pile and they all shrieked some more. I gave up in bewilderment at this point and let them wipe down my legs and feet and put on the clean nappy. What a lot of fuss. I'm only 15 months old so I couldn't be expected to control the course of events. It was only poo, and it happens.


Friday, March 15, 2002
Today I took off my own nappy! A bit of an achievement I think. One of the best things about having a bath is being able to run around naked afterwards. So after my bath tonight I only got to run around for about 5 minutes before Mummy wrestled a nappy on to me. But I decided tonight was the night to take a stand and I thought I'd try getting it off myself. It took me all of 5 seconds - how haven't I worked that out before? I'll be doing that again. So I got to run around a bit longer and I watered the plants, rearranged some rocks on the bonsais, and read some stories before having to get dressed for bed. I was trying to stall because my bedroom smelt of tandoori chicken.

I've been playing hide-and-seek with Daddy. He runs off and hides and I take off after him about 5 seconds later. I love it. I find him behind the cupboard doors, or crouched beside the big bed or my cot. Once I find him, his penalty is that I get to give him a big hug and dribble on him a bit.

Speaking of dribble, I've now got another three new teeth on top of the six I already had. Two big fat ones on my top gums at the sides, and another small one at the bottom front. My gums really ache during the day but luckily not so bad as to keep me awake at night. It feels very different to chew food now since I have big, chewing teeth at the top but not the bottom. I guess once I get the rest I'll be able to eat everything M & D eat. Mmmm. Pizza and chocolate. And tandoori chicken.


Thursday, March 14, 2002
I keep getting sprung trying to hide the house keys. Yesterday after I'd been out, I casually wandered off to M & D's bedroom with Daddy's keys. There are lots of good hiding places in there but my favourites at the moment are the bedside tables. They're great to rifle through, especially Daddy's, there's so much stuff crammed in there. After I'd made room by emptying half the contents on to the floor, I put the keys in, and at just that moment, Daddy walked in. All he said was "Oskar..." and I jumped out of my skin. Damn! With that, I gave myself away and he knew I was up to mischief. If I'd innocently turned around I might have got away with it.

So I tried again this morning but this time with Mummy's keys (and her bedside table). We'd just been downstairs to get the paper so I was able to sneak off with the keys without Mummy noticing. But I must have been too slow. I had the drawer open and the keys and my hand were in it when Mummy walked in. Once again I jumped a foot off the floor so I instantly looked guilty. I've really got to work on that.

I have had one small success though. A few weeks ago I hid Mummy's visa card, but she found it four days later. So about a week ago I hid her other visa card, and she still hasn't found it! I hope I can remember which hiding spot I put it in... Oh well, no matter.


Monday, March 11, 2002
Yesterday I woke from my morning nap and was greeted with the funniest sight. I wandered down the hall to see that the couch was pushed back and in the middle of the loungeroom was my Daddy. Skipping in the nude. I stood in the hallway and blinked several times. Yep, he really was naked and all of him was bouncing up and down. He looked hilarious. Am I really going to look like that when I'm older? I laughed at him and so did Mummy, at which point he got a bit shy and ran away. When I'm bigger I'll try it, skipping looks like lots of fun. But I'll make sure Mummy's not around!

I had a pretty special morning today. Nan and Grandad picked me up and took me off with with no parents! They've bought a spiffy, new car seat and a stroller, so hopefully we can go out more often together. Boy I was happy to go out this morning. M & D were like wet socks, all limp and droopy. I was happy to leave them to it. So Nan, Grandad and I went off to Brunetti's and I sat in the window watching the birds and munching on some hot cross bun. I say "some" hot cross bun because they only bought one between the three of us. I presumed that it was all for me and that they weren't eating, but no such luck. I had to share it with them. After morning tea I stretched my legs in the Carlton Gardens and said hello to some dogs. By then I was getting a bit tired so they took me home and I went straight to bed for a good long snooze.


Sunday, March 10, 2002
I've been getting M & D to read and sing to me from a nursery rhyme book. I'm getting to know "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" quite well now. When we do the twinkle bit I hold up my arms and wiggle my fingers. And I can say "star" now and I point to the stars on my cupboard door and above M & D's bed. I'm rather pleased with myself for that. I can also say "plane" and "train". When I hear a plane I point to the sky, say "plane" and look at M & D. They inevitably stare at me blankly and about 5 seconds later say "oh, plane!". My hearing must be so much better than theirs.

I'm loving my new peg game. Today I stacked ten pegs, one on top of the other. Pretty clever I think. I'm also getting good at putting my lego together, although that is a bit harder. It's more fun if Daddy builds something for me and I pull it apart.


Wednesday, March 06, 2002
I got knocked down by a dog today. It was a bit embarrassing really considering the dog came up to my waist. It bounded over and kissed me square in the face and I was so surprised that I fell over backwards onto my bottom. There were three dogs all the same size (tiny) and they all crowded around to say hello. They mustn't have seen a person their size before. I hadn't seen a dog their size before. I'm used to big dogs like Scotty and Xena (she's huge). We were in a new park in Richmond that Daddy wanted to take Mummy and me to. It was really nice with lots of big trees and heaps of grass to walk on, plus good climbing equipment. We went there to run off our breakfast which we had at Caffe Latte. That was great. We sat outside and I could watch the people making coffees inside. Then we went to my favourite toy shop next door and M & D bought me a broom and a cool peg game. So all up a great morning.


Monday, March 04, 2002
Daddy thinks that I can't tell the difference but I'm on to him! I've had Mummy reading my books to me heaps lately so I know them pretty well. But when Daddy reads me The Very Hungry Caterpillar, I know he's not doing it right. Sometimes it takes him half the time it takes Mummy so I know he's missing out words. Other times he tries to tell me that the caterpillar was eating a slice of foccacia, a piece of pizza and a bowl of marshmallows and THAT's why he had a stomachache. Ha! I'm on to you Daddy. Just wait 'til I can read.

I love pegs. They're great to stash places and suck on and squeeze. I can pull them off the clothes horse okay, but I'm still working out how to put them back on it. So rather than leaving them on the carpet, I see how many places I can fit them in. I currently have them in the urn and the window sill and yesterday I put them in the washing machine. A couple of days ago I put two in the toilet but that didn't go down to well. I nearly jumped out of my skin when Mummy caught me with my hand in the toilet bowl. I can't see what the problem is. I see them putting the rolled up paper down there all the time.

I've been secretly playing with Mummy's lipsticks over the last couple of weeks. I have to be very quiet about it because M & D stop me otherwise. They're kept in the bathroom in the top drawer, which I can quietly open. First I just chucked them in the bath. Then I realised that they came apart, so I'd open and close them. Then I discovered that the inside was hollow and had coloured stuff deep inside. I can fit my fingers in there just nicely and the coloured bit squelches all about. It feels a bit uncomfortable under my fingernails so I wipe it off on my pants or the carpet, whichever I happen upon first. I made pretty patterns on the carpet last week but unfortunately M & D didn't see it as the start of a promising art career. It was all gone half a day later. Now I'm lucky to get in the bathroom at all because they're shutting the door more often. But when I do I make the most of it.



Sunday, March 03, 2002
Daddy made his coffee too strong yesterday. Boy he was wired. We had the coverage of the Grand Prix on, and we sat on my couch with a plate for a steering wheel and my hammer in my posting box as a gear stick. We vroom, vrooomed and weeeee,eeeeeeeed. Great fun.

We can hear the cars from the balcony so they must be just over the hill. And so far I've seen the roulettes three times. I point to the sky when I can hear them and we all race out to the balcony to watch. I can see a group of specks moving around making patterns. I'm not quite sure what M & D see in them to be honest. Especially since it's so cloudy. It's like the clouds are roaring but we can't see anything/

My latest achievement has been discovering how to turn the light switches on and off. I can now close myself in my room and turn the light on and off. It makes a really cool flicking sound. When Daddy took too long in the shower I turned the lights off to try to hurry him along a bit.

Last night Gabriel came over with his parents, Dusty and Rob. Gabriel is so good with ball throwing. I watched him throwing again but the best I can do at the moment is to bounce a tennis ball on the kitchen floor. He also played my keyboard really well. With two hands at once too. Very impressive. I was really looking forward to having a good play with them all but my mouth was so sore I got in a really bad mood. I got a new tooth a few days ago and my gum is really hurting on the other side as well. I wish they'd just hurry up and come through. Then I could chew proper food, not be forced to eat mushy goop.


 

Taking in the view with Dad at Sandringham beach


A sort of preview birthday cake...(I turn 5 tomorrow!!!)


We're Dixie and Pumpy


Looooove the Kew Traffic School


We got you, Uncle Ad, now give up!


Are we too cool, or what?!


Watching the ducks on a breezy day...but nothing stops me from wearing my muscle shirt.


I'm not dizzy, no, no...


Whoaah!! Grampa made this for me!


Night-night, Mummy!



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