Illustration by Claire Robertson

My Name is Oskar Tex Hosken and I'm four years old. Daddy built my website for me and Mummy helps me write my journal. I have a little sister, Jasmine, who also has a website.

Read my guestbook

oskar at neuronwave dot com

Monday, October 29, 2001
Sleep just isnít a happening thing at the moment. And is it any wonder? Iíve had three teeth force their way through my top gum in the last three weeks. So itís not surprising that I keep waking up at night. And everyone knows what makes painful things feel better. Cuddles. Comforting, snuggly, loving cuddles. So why are Mummy and Daddy denying me? I used to get lots of cuddles through the night, now I get told to ďGo To SleepĒ and get laid down again straight away. Well I wonít stand for it! In fact I will stand for it if thatís what it takes Ė stand on my bed, in the middle of the night and with a bit of jumping up and down to further make my point. And with some crying thrown in too. Itís a continuing battle of wills at the moment. Although I have had a small victory in that they now stay in my room and stroke and pat me until I fall asleep. If they try to sneak out any earlier then I let rip with a loud wail. Iíve just about mastered the False Sleepy Breathing technique, which I learnt from a great book written by one of my peers (Autobiography of a One-Year-Old by Rohan Candappa). Mum and Dad think Iím asleep because my breathing changes but as soon as they move my eyes pop open. Hee hee, it takes quite a bit of effort on my part not to actually fall asleep but itís worth it for the deep sighing and deflated looks on my parentsí faces.

Actually there was one night when I fell asleep really quickly. It was last Saturday night and my last breastfeed of the night tasted really different. I think Mummy laced it with sleepy drugs. It tasted of lollipops, licorice and berry bubblegum (okay, I got those descriptions from Aunty Jo since Iíve never actually tasted any of those foods). Turns out they started the night with Campari, moved on to a Brown Brothers Sparkling Wine then topped it off with a 1997 Coriole Shiraz which just about knocked Aunty Jo and Mummy off their chairs. Daddy let me have a taste of the sparkly and his campari and grapefruit juice but no one was willing to share their red with me. Well, except via Mummys milk. I went out like a light after that. Think she should drink that much more often since it dulled my gum pain so effectively.

I went for another hearing test today. I had a great time. I donít know when the test was because I sat around watching these funny puppets make faces at me. There were some weird sounds going on in the room but each time I looked to see what the noise was, a puppet danced around and the noise stopped. Then the lady said I was fine and we went home. Cool! I hope all future tests are as easy as that one!

Hello Uncle Adam - I miss you! Just so you know, you have a month of cuddles to make up when you get home.

Friday, October 26, 2001
Daddy has been hogging the computer so much that Mummy and I had to scheme together to get him off. I had to conjure up a really stinky nappy (not hard with what Mummy feeds me), and then Mummy flatly refused to change me so Daddy had to do the honours. Then Mummy snuck up to the computer and closed down all his work. Actually I'm lucky she's talking to me at all since I sort of bit her. Well she was in my way and wouldn't move and I got angry, and her arm was just there, and I kind of nipped it. It didn't help my cause at all but provoked a most interesting reaction in her. I'll keep that up my sleeve for future shock value I think.

I've discovered what doors are all about. I know about the door to my bedroom - if I pull on it, it opens and if I push it it closes. But there are other secret doors in the walls that I haven't seen before. I stumbled across a couple in the hallway and discovered all sorts of interesting things behind them. So I wondered how many other secret holes there were behind the walls. I set off on an expedition and crawled about the rooms pushing on the walls. And here's the weird thing - some of the doors didn't open when I pushed on them. I know they were there but the just didn't open. One time I spied Mums foot against a door after I'd been pushing for ages. That was just plain mean. But other times she wasn't there and they still wouldn't open. I'll have to think more about that.

My favourite door is the one to the shower. If I push on it, it sort of crumples and folds in half. Then I can get in and play in the water. I love to splash in the little puddles. Except there was the time when I got myself locked in there. I stood up against the door and it closed fast and I couldn't work out how to open it again. I tried for a while but had to call for Daddy to help me and get this, he laughed!

I spent a day at Aunty Jo's house a couple of days ago. Boy I had a great time out in the back yard. There was a little water bowl for me to play in and play I did. I slapped the water, tipped it upside down, sat in it, and then tried to drink from it like I'd seen Bertram the cat do. I found that a bit difficult actually - don't know how he does it. Mind you he didn't have a wide brim hat on.

Friday, October 19, 2001
I've been a bit of a home body this week so nothing much to write about. We had the mothers group here yesterday which was fun. I showed the boys how I can crawl up and down the stairwell outside our front door. They were all very impressed. Gabriel joined in - he can stand without holding on to anything now which I thought was very clever. Oliver crawled over to the stairs, looked down and said "I don't think so...". They can both clap their hands - apparently parents really like it when you do that so I might try it soon when I think they need a lift.

Unfortunately Mummy and Daddy have listened to Nurse Fran and have left me in bed for ages in the morning before getting me up for brekky. AND they don't come straight away when I call them in the night. Hmpff. I spent nearly an hour crying a few nights ago. I told them about the monsters under the bed, and my bad dreams and the wosets in the closets, but they didn't listen. They stuck to their plan and only came in every ten minutes or so. I noticed. But then I slept really well the next night because I was so pooped. Maybe that's what they want...

Tuesday, October 16, 2001
I'm sooo happy to have daddy and mummy home together. Daddy is working hard and enjoying being with us both which is wonderful. Today Mummy and Daddy took me exercising; mummy rode her bike and dad pushed me (although not as fast as last time despite my pushing!!!).

Last night we went to my Grandparents (The Hoskens) for dinner. Nan has four times as many dus (ducks - ed) as we do in the bath...they surrounded me and I didn't know what to do.

I love going to Nan's, everybody gives me soo much attention and there are lots of toys to play with; apparently they were Daddy's and Uncle's but they look fine to me.

Anyway, this is just a quick note as I'm busy watching The Matrix (Mrr. Anderrssson) and getting ready for dinner.

Mum and Dad - You are both ace!!!

Sunday, October 14, 2001
We did it!! Daddy and I did the half marathon!! I have our finishing medallion around my neck right now! So our preparation started last night with the pre-race massage. That is, Mummy and me giving Daddy a leg massage. Well Mummy rubbed Daddy's legs and I crawled over his back and sucked on his toes. I thought that might help and he seemed to like it. We all had early nights and woke at 5.30 am rearing to go. It was pouring with rain and cold but we headed down to the start anyway and the rain went away. Aunty Jo came to see us off at the start line and then off we went with many hundreds of other people. I had just settled back to enjoy the ride when I saw Nan Barbara up the road. We waved hello and kept on going, rounded the corner and there was Nan again! We ran a bit further, over a hill and there was Nan again!! How did she do that? I might have had a sleep in there somewhere... Lots of people talked to us on the way and a couple even asked if they could take my place! Everyone thought Daddy was marvellous for running with me. I don't know what the big deal was, after all I was setting the pace up the front. But we had a great time and my Daddy is a champion!

After a snooze in the arvo, Mummy and I went to get me a helmet from our favourite bike shop, Bike Life. They had all these ultra cool looking helmets, but what did Mummy get me? A helmet with Ducks on it. I don't see Stuart O'Grady and Lance Armstrong with ducks on their helmets. Go-fast helmets don't have ducks on them. So of course I cried when they put it on me. Who want's to be seen in public with that? Mummy and Dean the bike shop man thought it was very cute but I don't want CUTE! What self respecting cyclist wants CUTE? I bet Fabio doesn't have Ducks on his helmet.

Friday, October 12, 2001
I've had such a big week I haven't had time to write! It started out with my top teeth wriggling about in my gums. Owwww! I got a really high fever and my gum and lip swelled up. I've never felt so bad so I just cried and cuddled Mummy. At least that only lasted a day and a night then settled down again, although they're still niggling a bit.

Over the last month while Daddy was away I've been slowly working on Mummy and had her just about wrapped around my little finger. I can get a cuddle anytime just by holding on to her leg, especially when she's in the kitchen, and I only had to make a noise in the night and she came running. But yesterday we went to visit Nurse Fran at the Child Health Centre and she told Mummy a few home truths. It seems that Nurse Fran knows us babies secrets. Damn!! I have a feeling things are about to change. She talked to Mummy lots about food to give me which was great because I was so bored with tepid mushy goop. But I wish she had stopped there. She told Mummy not to run straight to me to meet my every want. What? Why not? It works well for me. And I'm going to be banished from the kitchen! And I'm going to have to wait longer in the morning for a feed! Nurse Fran agreed with Mummy that 6am is too early for me to get up. For who to get up? Just whose needs are being met here?!

Anyway, I think the food situation is on the improve already. Yesterday for lunch I got steamed broccoli, cauliflower and beans with toast and rice. I had a great time with the vegies. I made pretty patterns on my tray and smeared them about the chair and in my hair. I'm not sure if I was meant to eat them on not. For afternoon tea I had half an apple. I enjoyed it so much that I thought I'd save some for later so I stashed bits away in all the pockets of my overalls and under my shirt. But Daddy found out and pulled all the bits out. For dinner I had some pasta for the first time. What do people see in it? It was sticky and slimey in my mouth. And whats more, Mummy got it ready then nicked off and left Nan to feed it to me. What a cop out. Next time I'm over at Nan's I'll see if she can make me some Donnini's pasta - I hear that's much nicer.

Mummy and Daddy bought me a bike seat!! So soon I'll be able to go riding with Mummy and watch Daddy running. And speaking of running, Daddy and I are doing the half marathon on Sunday. I might be in my jogger for a couple of hours with a view of lots of legs and bums. Now I know Mummy would like that but I think it might get a bit tiresome so I'm hoping to have a good sleep on the way. I'll let you know with my next update.

Saturday, October 06, 2001
Daddy's home! Daddy's home!!! Yay, yay, yay!!!! We went to meet him at the airport and I was so happy to see him. He gave me a duck with flying goggles and a hat which was very cute and great to chew on. Made me smile. Then off to Brunetti's for coffee and pastries - well for Mummy and Daddy anyway, I got water.

We went to Nan and Grandad's in the afternoon to say hello to everyone and say goodbye to Uncle Adam who's going overseas for a month. I crawled all through the garden and looked at all the lovely flowers. I'm more used to the grass now - at first I thought it was cold, wet carpet. Nan has a little container with a cat in it, and I learnt to open the lid, pull out the cat and close the lid. Then open the lid, put the cat back and close the lid again. Nan and Mummy were so fascinated that I could do it that I just kept doing it to entertain them. I must have opened and closed the lid for 10 minutes.

A couple of days ago Mummy and I were playing around on the floor and I crawled across her face. I didn't know her head would move so much but I put my knee on her cheek and her head crunched to the side. She said I should think about being a chiropractor when I grow up and that it was a very good manipulation.

I got sprung playing at the toilet again. This time when I got my arm stuck under the seat Mummy pulled it up to rescue me and she found a duck in there. Oops, it wasn't me really. I watched the duck move over there all by itself. I really don't know how the empty toilet roll got in there either...

Tuesday, October 02, 2001
After wedging my hand in Mum's knitting basket you'd think I would have learnt. But no, I had to be found with my whole arm stuck under the toilet seat. I had my right hand on top of the seat and my left arm under it. So embarrassing!

I've had a really big weekend. On Saturday we went for a BBQ at Granny's place. There were lots of people and heaps of things to play with. There was lots of newspaper on the floor which I flipped through and these stones which Granny said came from the Kimberley - they were great to chew and suck on. I got to play outside a bit but it got a bit hot for me and I had to go indoors. On friday I stayed with Granny for a while and learnt to go up and down the stairs on the veranda! I felt very pleased with myself since they were the first stairs I've ever crawled over. There's another step inside which I went up and down a lot on Saturday, just making sure I won't forget how to do it.

On Sunday Mummy and I drove down to Cape Schanck to have lunch with Clare. It was fabulous there - really windy - I've never felt such strong wind. There is a big spiral staircase there and I thought I'd practice my stair climbing on it but someone always came chasing after me if I got too close to it. Maybe next time.

My mouth is really hurting me at the moment. Especially at night - I've been waking up a bit and having trouble going back to sleep because my gums are aching. Last night Mummy sang to me and I got so bored I fell asleep, so that worked. How many times does she expect me to listen to Eensy Weensy Spider?

Yesterday we went down to the local park and met some of my friends from playgroup. We had a great time crawling about the grass which was nice and soft. Gabriel had brought a tennis ball and we all had our lunch and snacks there. It was great to crawl as far as I wanted and to make as much mess as I wanted too! We left biscuit crumbs squashed into the grass and Mummy didn't have to vacuum so she was happy.


Taking in the view with Dad at Sandringham beach

A sort of preview birthday cake...(I turn 5 tomorrow!!!)

We're Dixie and Pumpy

Looooove the Kew Traffic School

We got you, Uncle Ad, now give up!

Are we too cool, or what?!

Watching the ducks on a breezy day...but nothing stops me from wearing my muscle shirt.

I'm not dizzy, no, no...

Whoaah!! Grampa made this for me!

Night-night, Mummy!

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